I am excited to finally share with all of you that my husband and I are expecting our first child, a girl, in January! This has been the reason for the radio silence on the blog. I wasn’t really sure when or how I wanted to share this news.
The reason for my apprehension was that this was quite a surprise for us. Our journey to having a child goes back about 7 years. We had waited to try and have children and then when we decided to try, it just didn’t happen for us. We tried for about a year and decided that it just wasn’t meant to be. I had experience as a nanny for two different families that had adopted, so we knew that we would not try any fertility drugs and instead decided that when the time was right, we would adopt since there are so many children out there that need loving homes.
Over the next years life got busy and we really liked the rhythm and freedom of our life, so we just kept moving forward. Throughout all this time, it wasn’t like we ever stopped trying to have a child, but after many years you figure that it is just not something that can happen. We were never devastated by it, we knew that at any time we could start the process to adopt a child. We had decided that we were happy with the way our life was and that we would revisit the idea of adoption at a later time.
Fast forward seven years later. Low and behold I find myself pregnant! We did nothing different and have no idea how all of this sudden this was able to happen. It produced the most intense joy and fear that I have ever experienced in my life. On one hand I wanted to jump for joy that I was getting an experience that I never thought I would have and on the other had I was terrified that it was all really just some cruel joke and that something was bound to go wrong.
I would say I lived in fear most of the first 16 weeks of the pregnancy. I just felt like it couldn’t be real and that I was going to wake up one day and she would be gone. I know this isn’t the most rational way to look at things, but after seven years of it not happening it was hard to get out of my own head at times.
I am happy to say that last week we had the 20 week ultrasound and that she looked perfect! She is of normal size and all of her little organs are growing just as they should be. The relief that I felt at that point, I cannot even put into words. I also felt that it was at a point where I felt comfortable sharing it with all of you.
I am sorry for the lengthy post today, but after the hiatus I felt that I owed everyone an explanation of what had been going on. So, here is to moving forward, being positive, and a new adventure! Thank you so much for reading!